Any Given Sundae

The following is a transcript for the episode "Any Given Sundae".

ScriptEDIT
''[Lily goes to the kitchen and yawns, stretching. Lynn Sr. is shown cooking and Rita talks to him.]'' Rita: "Thanks for breakfast, honey." [Kisses him.] "I should be back around four after I finish pulling Flip's wisdom teeth." [She makes an annoyed face.] Lynn Sr.: "I thought you already did that." Rita: "He grew another set." Lynn Sr.: "What?" Rita: "You know, I was thinking, the kids have been really good this week, haven't they?" Lynn Sr.: [Flipping an egg] "Oh, they've been great. No calls from school..." Rita: "No trips to the ER..." Lynn Sr.: "I only had to raise my voice once." Rita: "We should do something special for the kids. How about taking them out for ice cream when I get back?" Lynn Sr.: "Oh, I love it! We could go to Auntie Pam's Parlor!" Rita: [Looks at Lily, who has her toy keys in her mouth.] "And you know what? I think someone's ready for her first taste of ice cream!" Lynn Sr.: "Oh! This is my favorite of all the milestones!" [To Lily] "What do you think, sweetie? You wanna try some..." [in slow motion] "ice cream?" Lily: [gasps] "Huh? Ice ceam?" ''[She then imagines being in a pink sky on a cloud and there's a sundae floating in the air. She turns towards it and gasps, reaching out to it, giggling. She then sees a flying teapot spraying chocolate sauce from its sprout, onto the sundae, then the rainbow above her melts into sprinkles, which lands on the sundae, the cloud, and her. She giggles, then some gummi bears appear on top of her head, do some dancing, and leap off her head, into the sundae. She grabs it and goes flying through the air, going through a cloud of whipped cream, which is on the sundae and on her face. Two spoons then hop past her, dance with each other, and jump into the sundae. She laughs and claps, then looks on in wonder as a cherry falls out of the sky, and onto the sundae. She is exuberant and begins to levitate towards it, until Rita's arms grab her and literally pulls her out of the daydream, while she screams. Back in reality, Rita is holding an unamused Lily.]'' Rita: "So, ice cream sounds good?" Lynn Sr.: "Darn tootin'! If today goes okay, too." Rita: [affectionately to Lily] "Let's see if your siblings can behave for just a few more hours. [Boops Lily's nose and Lily giggles] And if they do, it's ice cream time!" [She puts Lily on the floor and Lily imagines the ice cream, then imagines her siblings arguing.] Imaginary Lisa: "Don't touch my glasses!" Imaginary Lynn: "I can't believe you--" Imaginary Lola: "Leni,---" [The siblings in Lily's imagination start arguing too quickly to make sense of and that imagination devours the other.] Lily: [Stops imagining and looks ticked] "Wah-wah!" [growls, then walks off looking grumpy]

[Lily is walking Lincoln and Lori into her and Lisa's room.] Lincoln: "Uh, Lily, is everything okay?" [He and Lori look surprised to see that Lily has led their other sisters into her and Lisa's room too.] Leni: "Isn't this cute? Lily's calling a sibling meeting." ''[Lily brings in a pad of paper, which hits a block, and crudely draws a sundae. She then points and babbles to it.]'' Lola: "Good job, Lily, you drew an... upside-down tree." [Lily facepalms, then tries to mime eating ice cream.] Lincoln: "I think she's trying to tell us something." Lisa: "Perhaps the infant has some trapped wind." [Lily facepalms again and Lori tries to burp her but she exclaims and flails her arms around.] Lola: "You guys are all wrong; she's clearly waving at us." Leni: "I guess Lily called this meeting just to say hi." [waves] "Hi, Lily!" Lily's siblings except Leni: [in unison] "Hi, Lily!" Leni & Lola: "Okay-" Leni: "-well," Lily's siblings: "Bye, Lily!" ''[The siblings leave the room. Lily then sees some toys discarded in the hallway and growls in frustration.]'' Lynn Sr.: [singing offscreen] ''♫ Checking the mail, skippa-dee-bop. What did we get in the latest crop? ♫ [Lily looks nervous and imagines Lynn Sr. coming out of the bathroom.]'' Imaginary Lynn Sr.: ''♫ Doo-be-doo-- ♫ [steps on a jack] "Ow, ow, ow! Oh, ow!" [Steps on a skateboard and goes sliding along.] "Whoa! [Falls off the skateboard and his head lands inside a drum.] No more ice cream!"'' [The imagination ends as Lily screams and frantically moves all the toys.] Lynn Sr.: [comes out of the bathroom] ''♫ Maybe a crop. Maybe a bill [Lily sees a toy car where Lynn Sr. about to step and hastily grabs the controls and moves it away just in time.] Checking the mail is always a thrill. Doo doo doo ba-da-ba-da! Doodley doo doo doo-- ♫ [walks downstairs]'' [Lily smiles, then walks into the kitchen, where Lincoln is talking on the walkie-talkie and mopping the floor.] Clyde: [on the walkie-talkie] "Lincoln! I've got a code denim!" Lincoln: "You're stuck in a pair of skinny jeans?!" Clyde: "I was trying to update my looks, but now I can't feel my legs!" Lincoln: [puts the mop down] "Mopping the floor can wait. I'm on my way! [runs out of the kitchen and past Lily] Don't struggle, Clyde, it'll only make it worse." ''[Lily imagines her parents both slipping on the wet floor. She looks determined and slides along the floor on her butt, thereby completing its mopping. When she's done, she walks into the living room, where the twins are on the couch fighting over the TV remote.]'' Lola: "I wanna watch my pageant show!" Lana: "I wanna watch my penguin show!" [The twins struggle as the TV keeps flipping between their favorite shows back and forth, then Lana has the remote.] "Got it!" Lola: "Give it to me!" ''[She jumps on Lana and they begin fighting. Lily hears Vanzilla's horn to show that Rita just pulled into the driveway. She nervously runs towards the twins, but then sees Lynn with her football on top of the stairs.]'' Lynn: "Lynn Loud looks downfield but nobody's open! She's going for the quarterback sneak!" Lily: "Huh?" [She then sees Luan with a spring-loaded boxing glove.] Luan: "If all goes according to plan, my family will glove this prank!" [Lily gasps and imagines Rita entering and being tackled by the twins' fight, or Lynn, or being punched by Luan.] Imaginary Rita: "No more ice cream!" ''[The imagination ends and Lily whistles for Charles, then rides on him as she lets out a battle cry and steals the remote from the twins. She then changes the channel.]'' Woman on TV: "And now, back to Penguin Pageants!" [The twins stop fighting.] Lana and Lola: "Huh?" ''[They watch intently. Lily, still riding Charles, whistles for Walt, who flies out of his cage and around Luan.]'' Luan: [giggles while trying to shoo the canary] "Walt, knock it off!" ''[Luan then accidentally punches herself in the face with the glove and is knocked unconscious. Meanwhile, Lily jumps off Charles and uses the glove to launch herself onto Lynn's face, knocking her over.]'' Lynn: "Oh no, it's a fumble!" [Points] ''[Lily sees Lynn's football roll down the stairs and gets nervous. Rita enters and Charles catches the ball just as it was going to make contact with her. Rita looks confused, but happy.]'' Rita: "Well, this is nice to see everybody getting along. And Luan's even taking a nap." [Lily is seen climbing down the stairs] Lynn Sr.: [comes out of his and Rita's room] "Yep, they've been perfect all day. Not a single mess or meltdown." Rita: "That's all I needed to hear. Kids, come down here, please! [All the Loud kids assemble.] Do you want to tell them the surprise or should I?" Lynn Sr.: "Oh, you do it." Rita: "You guys have been so well-behaved this week, we wanted to do- Luan, wake up. Something nice for you, so everybody get in Vanzilla because--" Lynn Sr.: [excitedly] "I changed my mind, I wanna tell them, we're going for ice cream!" ''[The siblings make various cheerful exclamations, from which can be heard "Yes!" from one of the sisters, "Awesome!" from Lincoln, "Seriously?!" from Leni, and "Ice cream!" from Lynn. Lily imagines her sundae, and Charles imagines a dog treat. Lily somehow sees Charles' thought bubble and gives him a treat.]''

[The Louds begin walking out the door.] Lynn Sr.: "Catch up, my little tomatoes, time to head out!" [Lily is about to head out as well when sees an ad on TV.] Ad: "Come beat the heat at Auntie Pam's Parlor, but make sure you get there by five; [Lily watches intently and does a victory fist pump before realizing what the commercial is saying] we're closing early to give our scoopers a break. Don't forget, five PM! One more time; five PM! Five PM!" [Lily notices on the clock that it's 4:31 and tries to get Lynn Sr.'s attention.] Lynn Sr.: [picking Lily up] "I know, sweetie; I'm excited for ice cream, too." [Turns the TV off.] ''[Cut to Vanzilla driving off. Lynn Sr. types in their destination on his phone and sets it on the holder.]'' GPS: "Your estimated arrival time at Auntie Pam's Parlor is 4:46 PM." [Lily is relieved and imagines the dot on the GPS turning into a cherry.] Imaginary Cherry: "See you soon, Lily!" [kisses] Lily: [gasps] "Cherry..." [Suddenly, Vanzilla comes to a stop to find it in the middle of traffic.] Rita: "There's never this much traffic on this street." GPS: "Your new estimated arrival time is 5:05 PM." Lynn Sr.: "No biggie. Auntie Pam's doesn't close 'til eight." [Lily starts reaching out.] "Oh, you wanna play with Daddy's phone, Lily? [Gives Lily his phone] Ok, but please don't call Aunt Ruth again. It's two hours I'll never get back." [Lily presses buttons on the phone, then throws it back onto the holder.] GPS: "Rerouting, make a U-turn onto Oakville Road." Lynn Sr.: "Oh, look at that. [In his british accent] Lily accidentally found us a faster route." [Vanzilla drives to that route] GPS: "Your new estimated arrival time is 4:52 PM." ''[Lily wipes the sweat beads off her forehead. Just then, police sirens then sound, scaring Lily.]'' Rita: [annoyed] "Shoot, what now?" [pulls over] Cop: "Ma'am, do you know your registration's expired? I'll have to write you a ticket for that. Get comfy; this could take a while." ''[Lily looks out the window to see the cop writing Rita's ticket. She frantically looks around, and finds one of her blocks and blankie on the floor. She picks them up and places the block inside on the end of the blanket, then looks out the window again and spots the clutch of the officer's motorcycle. With one spin and a toss from her "weapon", she was able to move the clutch, sending the bike rolling down the hill.]'' Cop: [Notices and chases after it] "Ahh! My bike! Come back, precious!" Rita: "Uh, thanks, officer, we'll take that as a warning! Whoo!" [drives off] GPS: "Your new estimated arrival time is 4:58 PM." Lily: "Phew!"

[Later, The Louds arrive at Auntie Pam's Parlor.] GPS: "You have arrived at your destination." Lynn Sr.: [Looking through his pockets] "Uh-oh." Rita: "Oh, honey, please tell me you didn't forget your wallet. This place only takes cash. " ''[Lily's eye twitches in anger. She digs through the seats, and holds up a twenty.]'' Lynn Sr.: "The emergency twenty! Lily, you've done it again!" Lily's siblings: [in unison] "Yay, Lily!"

[Everyone, but Rita and Lily, is eating ice cream.] Rita: "Hi, can I get one scoop of vanilla ice cream, please." [Lily babbles and points at the picture of the sundae.] "Haha, okay, I guess she has other ideas. One sundae, please." ''[Rita is given the sundae and sets Lily up to eat it. Lori has her phone out and recording Lily.]'' Lori: "You ready, Lily? Okay, guys, I'm recording." Lynn Sr.: [teary-eyed] "I can't believe this is the last time we get to introduce a little Loud to ice cream." Lily's siblings: [in unison] "Go, Lily!" ''[Just as Lily was about to take the first-ever bite of her sundae, she hears a bird call in the distance, and said bird swoops in front of her, having Lily drop the sundae and onto the grass, all the while happening in slow-motion. Lily looks at the remains and gets teary-eyed.]'' Rita: "Oh no, sweetie, don't worry, we'll get you a new sundae. [knocks on the window] Uh, excuse me!" Luna: "No dice, dudes, they close at five this week." Lynn Sr.: "What? Huh. You think they'd advertise something like that." [Lily looks down for a second, and just like that, she starts crying uncontrollably.] Rita: [picks her up] "Oh, poor baby. Let's get you home." ''[The parents and Lily walk off looking somber. Everyone's in Vanzilla again and the siblings are trying to cheer up their baby sister.]'' Lily's siblings, except Luan and Lana: "Oh, it's okay, Lily." Luan: "Cheer up, Lily." Lana: "Oh, Lily..." Leni: "I've never seen Lily look so sad." Luan: "You'll get that ice cream sundae, Lily, perhaps when the road isn't so rocky! Don't have a mint chip on your shoulder about this." Lola: "Luan, read the room!" [Just then, Lily sees Flip's Food and Fuel and tries to get her parents' attention.] Rita: "It's okay, honey; we'll be home soon." [Lily then deliberately poops her diaper.] Lucy: [sniffs] "Oh, what is that? It smells like a thousand angry skunks." [Lynn groans in disgust, followed by everyone else.] Rita: [Smells it as well] "Oh, somebody needs a diaper change, stat!" [Turns the van around]

''[Flip's Food and Fuel. Lynn Sr. carries Lily out of the bathroom and into the store.]'' Lynn Sr.: ''[singing] ♫ A little powder, a little wipey, now you've got a fresh new diapie! ♫ [Lily sees some ice cream in the freezer and struggles out of her father's grip.]'' "We've got a runner!" [Lily jumps onto the freezer and starts banging it with her fists.] Rita: "Look what Lily found!" Lincoln: "That gives me an idea."

[And so...] Lynn Sr.: [Making a sundae for Lily.] "One ice cream sundae coming up!" Lincoln: "Don't forget the gummi bears!" [puts them on] Lynn: "Whipped topping in the hizz-ouse!" [puts it on] Lola: "And some yummy cookie crumbles!" ''[Lola puts a cookie on the bench, which Lana smashes with her spanner and Lily sprinkles the crumbs on. Flip is seen with a bandaged face, speaking in a garbled way and putting chocolate sauce on, then he falls over.]'' Rita: [takes the ice cream] "Thanks, Flip, but you're not supposed to be talking after your wisdom teeth surgery." [Puts a cherry on top and hands it to Lily.] Luan: "You guys, she's about to try it!" ''[The family gasps excitingly as Lily takes a spoonful of her sundae and eats it, then she imagines herself once again in the pink sky, this time with her family, and is laughing. Back in reality, everyone's in Vanzilla again just as it was leaving Flip's. Lily has ice cream all over her face, giggling when she finally got her ice cream.]'' Lisa: "Hmm, if I didn't know better, I'd swear Lily orchestrated this whole thing." Lynn Sr.: "Oh, don't be silly, honey, she's just a baby, haha." [Iris out, Lily winks at the audience.]